Down Down Down

Lately

Lately
You ain’t been straight with me
Oh I know you’ve been hating on me
Still I don’t know why you keep dropping by

I used to feel small
But now everything feels small
There are just no exceptions at all
I’m getting weary
No don’t come near me

I can’t remember a time when you haven’t been here
Your breath on my neck and your words in my ear
I see you and I hear you
And I smell you everywhere

You’re there when I sleep
You’re there when I wake
You’re there pointing out each mistake that I make
Yes I know you
Maybe I owe you
But if I were you
I’d be scared right now

Because I don’t want you hanging round here anymore
No I don’t want you hanging round
Why can’t you understand
You ain’t allowed here
Damn it all
I just don’t want you hanging round

What was that feeling I felt?
Was it the squeeze of guilt?
Because I’m in up to the hilt
In all the milk I’ve spilt

I’ve been dreaming
Dreaming of better dreams
These old ones are showing their seams
Feel like I’m sinking
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

I only stick around because I feel like I owe it
You can’t move in this town for all the damn poets
And I’ve got no use
For their brand of muse

Now they’re baying for blood
(Albeit politely)
There’s a queue around the block
Once a day and twice nightly
I’m tired of this view
And that includes you too

Because I don’t want you hanging round here…

Why don’t you pack your bags and go
Now get out of town
Leave me alone

Because I don’t want you hanging round here…

***

Last Chance Romance

I was rigid with drink
On a day without a name
Gazing into the distance
As the horizon backed away
Locked up in a happiness
That left truth out in the cold
Living within the artifice
Of an indifferent world

Through the haze emerged a form
In sure and sharp relief
A woman with that shop-soiled look
Of the habitual divorcee
I saw the sculpt of her hips
And no visible tattoos
I know this isn’t love
But it’ll do

I like my coffee black
And my little lies white
I like to keep my potential intact
And out of sight
But she possessed all the miseries
That come with imagination
She was as open and inhospitable
As a railway station

I’ve never known my own mind
But I suspect it’s now made up
And though the stars may not be aligned
Or our fates written in a teacup
We’ve been searching for affection
And it’s been leaving us all these clues
And though this isn’t love
It’ll do

I don’t want nobody but you
No, no other body will do
But believe me baby
A little bird told me
There’s never been no one and only
I just want someone to hold me
How did I ever get so lonely?

Time hasn’t been kind
But then neither have I
You can’t put an end to hurricanes
By pulling the wings off butterflies
So come take my hand
It’ll just be me and you
This isn’t love
But it’ll do

I don’t want nobody but you
No, no other body will do
But believe me baby
A little bird told me
There’s never been no one and only
I just want someone to hold me
How did I ever get so lonely?

Now the time has come for fiction
And we must play out all our parts
No rules and no restrictions
Just a couple of broken hearts
So accept my usual promises
Though you know they won’t come true
We know this isn’t love
But it will do.

***

Let Me Down Slow

I know you’re scared but we must be brave
Dry those tears from your eyes
Come on darling you know you can trust me babe
I only lie when I apologise

We ain’t going to take this thing lying down
And the morning sure as hell won’t find us here
We’ve been too long in the ruins of this town
Ever felt like you just wanted to disappear?

Well when you make up your mind
About when you’ll go
Let me down slow
I’m all shook up by those little things I know
Let me down slow

I overheard all the dirty words in your prayers last night
And I’ve read what you wrote in your diary
Some of those bits of prose just ain’t right
Maybe it’s time you put me out of your misery

When you make up your mind
About when you’ll go
Let me down slow…

I’ve still got hope though I admit it’s not much
And the tighter I grip it the more I lose touch
So it’s happened again
As it does now and then
Are you sad this had to end
Or are you more sad it ever had to begin?

When you make up your mind
About when you’ll go
Let me down slow…

***

Derailed

Remind me how I got here
And who I should blame
What kind of bright idea
Made me get on this train?

The wheels groan as one
And steam is rising
Coal in your lungs
Don’t explain why you’re sighing

I’m gaining
You’re still moving on
I don’t want to win
I want to be wrong
But then I presumed
We both knew better by now

Come be alone with me
Break the silence in two
I’m making space for the memories
I’m planning to have with you

Ignoring the signs
I don’t know where they’re leading
All those straight lines
And each one receding

I’m gaining
You’re still moving on
I don’t want to win
I want to be wrong
But then I presumed
We both knew better by now

Drift sands and hot steel
Rough hands and done deals
Some scars just won’t heal
If you don’t stay still

Damn it I’m drunk again
It doesn’t seem fair
Take a look at that window pane
See if the world is still there

The wheels scream as one
And steam is rising
Something’s begun
Without us realising

We’re gaining
One glimpse and it’s gone
Who’s driving
Who’s leading who on?
I presumed we both knew better by now.

***

Matilda & The Screw

Run your key across my cage just one more time tonight.
Slip your hands between the slats,
I promise I won’t bite.
The world outside is a prisoner of someone else’s lies,
But these iron bars tell me truths every day and every night.

Some call me “The Straight and Narrow”
Because they’ve all been down there once.
I saw my fortunes in the tarots:
They weren’t worth a second glance.
All those years alone in here don’t really mean a thing,
I can still sing like I was sixteen.
You believe me don’t you darling?

Oh jailer, jailer, jailer,
I’ll be your jailbird if you fancy that,
You can be my pussycat.

Don’t tell me tales of life outside,
They only make me sad.
Reward the other girls for good behaviour,
I know you prefer me bad.
I regard all broken hearts as reasonable wear and tear,
All you see of mine is yours
(just please don’t look in there).

Oh jailer, jailer, jailer,
I’ll be your jailbird if you fancy that,
You can be my pussycat.

My intentions were never dark you know,
They just only come out at night.
Angels cast strange shadows
Because they’re closest to the light.
A Siren’s only as deadly
As the rock on which it clings
But I can still sing like I was sixteen,
You believe me don’t you darling?

Oh jailer, jailer, jailer,
I’ll be your jailbird if you fancy that,
You can be my pussycat.

***

Long Way Down

Girl there ain’t no name for this kind of weather
I can barely see the sunlight at all
And though this may have all been my doing
Hell, that still don’t mean it ain’t all your fault

Anything that doesn’t end badly, baby
Hasn’t really ended at all
Yeah we had a lot of high hopes but sadly
One by one they’re starting to fall

And it’s a long long long way down

We’re lingering on the brink of the pit now darling
There’s a hopeless drone of too many flies
But just because you can’t buy it, honey
That don’t mean it don’t have a price

Yes it’s a long long long way down

Girl, show me your loneliness
And I’ll show you mine
I can’t recall the past you created for us
But there’s still time

We’re riddled with the ghosts of the yet still living
Slaking our thirst upon times gone by
Proposing a toast to the forgotten forgiven
Cursing the clocks as they count down our lives
I feel empty
Yet heavy
The ground is unsteady
I’m losing my nerve
I’ll never be ready
Damn all your loving
And damn all your lies
Damn the sweet nothings
Damn these goodbyes

Its a long long long way down
It’s a long long long way down

***

The Devil And The Hole

On a tempered crag in a sea of sin,
A spit of land like a splint of skin,
Three hundred miles with nothing but crows
And forty poor baptised christian souls

They built a tiny little town with a wall made of stone
To keep temptation out and their goodness all alone.
But a woman on the ground long widowed, long wild,
Felt the world rising round her and cried for a child.

She had a face like stone in the wake of weather,
Her hands turned white as they clasped together,
She prayed to the Lord,
Prayed to the Lord,
Prayed…
But the Lord ignored.

She said “God ain’t got no time for me
So if he don’t mind old Beelzee’
Will get some bouncing boy to be
Some little pride and joy for me.”
The Devil said “Don’t cry my dear,
Wipe away those little tears,
If you really want a son
Come on and let me give you one.”

It was a warm winter night when the child was born;
His mother would tell no one where the seed was drawn
But the people looked upon him in a certain light
And said there’s something in his smiling that’s not quite right.

The years went by and the boy grew tall,
With every passing day there grew a crack in the wall
And when the first stone fell it roused the town,
The people took the child and tied him down

And the lashes on his back were like rays from a red sun,
He’d lost all sense by the time they’d done
And as they maimed and they mauled he pointed to the wall,
He cried “there’s a light
“But all you people see is a hole.”

Low and behold.

***

Ghost Story

Won’t you take a seat tonight and buy a dead man a beer?
It’s just the memory of the light that makes it seem so dark in here.
That fallen mirror ball
Won’t reflect me anymore.
The dance-hall burnt down,
Take a sniff around,
You’ll notice that nothing was ever found,
Save for the sound of

Rum Pa Pa Pom.

My life was full of colour
And people were just the pattern.
The money others make for you is the best kind to get fat on.
Some said I was a swine
But I say pleasure’s not a crime,
I know others had it rough
But to hell with that stuff,
If the Devil’s the nicotine then God is the cough,
I just couldn’t get enough

Rum Pa Pa Pom.

Time took its tariff from the fierceness of my frame,
I bought the love of many women and always used the exact change
But the smiles turned to sniggers
Then the sniggers turned to smirks,
If they were trying to break my spirit
I’d have to admit it worked,
It can affect you far too much
When the thighs of whores lose their clutch
And shrinking from your touch sing

Rum Pa Pa Pom.

But drink don’t drown a man’s shame
So I tipped up all the bottles and set a match to the remains.
As the room was consumed by the plume of the flames
I was the only one who stayed.

***

Three Down, Four To Go

Three down, four to go.
I never thought
This list would be so easy to follow.
Three down, four to go,
I had doubts
But now I’m sure
Tonight
I’m going to kill your cure.

Time led me to betray
Everything I believed in,
I suppose that’s what they call “age”.
What was strong is now a strain.
I was young
And I was pure
But tonight
I’m going to kill your cure.

Decades in decay.
How do you shift
To “was” from “is”?
I guess I’ll find out the hard way.
Three down, four remain,
It’s late and I’m the lure
Tonight I’m going to kill your cure.

***